Wednesday, March 3, 2021

Relationships and Sex

     



    The blurred line of sex and relationships. There are times when the only reason people are together is because of sex and have no other commonalities. It was just based on great orgasms from the start and maybe a fear of being alone and both settled. The other side of the equation is that two people get along very well, have a lot in common, and are on similar paths but the sexual chemistry isn't there or has been lost over time. Have we stopped to ask ourselves why? Is it because people grow at different rates? Change at different times in their life, want something different, or become complacent? We are sexual beings whether we want to admit it or not and we all change over time and at different rates and levels. I believe that is why marriage is so difficult to maintain, along with relationships. We are always changing or at least should be growing and maturing with age and seeking new goals and levels. In our twenties and all the way back to our childhood, we are young and foolish and want what we see from our relatives and peers around us and what we see in the media as love. We all think we should be married, have kids, a nice house, a great job. Then our thirties come and we realize that we want something different out of life. More passion, adventure, goals wisdom, knowledge, and taking risks that should have been taken earlier in life. By then we are already in debt, have kids and your partner is growing at a different rate and in a different direction than you, or becoming more successful at their career than you and it creates turmoil. A lot of factors add to relationships and can cause greed, jealousy, envy because of success and growth. I believe we are at the turning point of what was considered traditional relationships and marriage. We have more understanding now of how the human mind works and how we grow, how we react to each other, and what we can become. There is also the aspect of mental illness, we'll get to that at a later date. We are essentially primates and no primate is monogamous. Now we come to the marriage aspect of human nature. There is a reason why men fear marriage, other than the fact if that's the only person he gets to have sex with while in that marriage. The man fears losing what he has worked so hard to obtain. Ladies, before you start your hate mail, let me finish. The system we have with marriage and divorce is set up in your favor. You get the alimony, half of everything, and child support if you have kids (I'll save the income equality for another time). Not completely your fault though, the lawyers step in and want their cut and start putting it into your head that you deserve more and telling you he is trying to screw you over. Then the battle begins and the lawyers start making money, and the man typically ends up covering both those bills as well. That is the other reason why men fear marriage, they fear losing everything. Both sides need to remember that your partner will change and grow over time. And you may grow apart and in different directions. It's a simple fact of human nature, it will happen. Don't get me wrong, you can work it out, come to common ground and keep going if you are willing to work at it. For the most part how we are designed in today's society. We always look for the easy way out or the way to obtain the most money. Or just desire the excitement of starting over or being with someone new, which is just as exciting. Whatever the case may be, it's all on the individuals in the relationship. Knowing what they want, where they are going, and whether or not they want to stay together and work it out. Or go their separate ways peacefully. To put it more simply, communication and we all lack that in today's society. We always throw this idea of love into the mix as well. We all think that it is eternal, which in some cases it may be. But in reality, the true concept of love is not being selfish. It's saying I care about your happiness as much as my own and if you're happier without me, be adults about it and allow each other to move on and be happy. Therein lies being civil about it, talking it through and not being selfish and greedy, and taking every last dime before they go. In other words, just be selfless in each other's happiness.

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Selfish Sex

     


    A common thing I've heard from women who I have talked to about sex is that men do not care if a woman has an orgasm. They only care about getting her into bed and getting off. They never take the time to figure out what turns a woman on, what fantasies they have, and what makes them orgasm. Men tend to lean towards the primal side of sex and that is to be domineering and above them. Then there is the other two factors. Single men are just looking for a notch on their belt and married men are just looking for a release when they cheat. Men also typically don't have the stamina to keep up with women and just worry about getting them into bed, getting off, and leaving them disappointed. What men do not realize is that learning and discovering what turns a woman on and gets her off will be empowering for both of you. It's a give and take that is rarely discussed and probably makes men feel inferior. Most women have the capability for multiple orgasms and longevity. While men have the capability for stamina but typically can only have one orgasm at a time and the woman has to wait a few minutes for the second round or the third for that matter. Women, however, can go for a long, long time. Hence why it is important to find all the things that turn her on when it comes to foreplay, sex, teasing, and everything else that comes along with female orgasm. Allow her to be open and tell you what she wants and follow through with it. You won't believe how much of a turn it is to get a woman to orgasm and get turned on by what she likes. And in all reality will bring you two closer together. Now there is a give and take to all this. Men have their fantasies too and should be able to talk about them as well. Therein lies the other half of the battle of sex, communication. Both sides are so afraid of talking about sex and being open with it that it creates a barrier between the two sides. Men and women are wired differently, we need different things sexually. And the more both sides are willing to listen and try things out and quit being so selfish the better off we will all be. 

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Division

 


Division

At a time in our nation's history when we could have had peace and moved forward with a better plan of prosperity and humanity. We are divided and at odds with each other. We have allowed ourselves to be pushed apart by two sides of a government that in all reality does not care about us and a very rich one percent above them that certainly do not care about us. The only thing any of them care about is money, power, and control or in other words full-blown narcissism at its finest. Our rights disappearing at a rapid rate, our fears all pushed by a media who is in the same category as the money-hungry, control freaks above them and no one wants to look at the big picture. Most just want comfort and security and the powers that be a feed on that fact and use it against you and at this moment, are using it to turn us against each other. The problem is big but the solution is simple. Find balance and common ground on what is best for humanity. No one wants to do that though, everyone just wants to be on a side and be right, no matter what the cost. Which in itself is just another form of narcissism. Everyone wants to be right and recognized for words and/or achievements. No one wants to be wrong and humbled and then gain wisdom. For certain, no one is asking where we as a collective people are heading and what is the best route and common ground that we can all stand on. We remain divided by people who don't care about us. Everyone is fearful of change and looking to choose sides. Instead of realizing that it will take a massive change with all of us on the same page looking to better ourselves as people, a nation, and for future generations. A hard road for sure and most are not willing to take the hard road to better themselves, are they? We always look for the quickest, simplest solution in our here and I want it now society. It's always easier to tear people down than it is to build with them and work together with a common goal in mind. In reality, we will never completely achieve a utopia, it would always be in the building, growing, and learning process as the times change and people evolve. But if you break it down to just common sense, wisdom, and humanity and build from there, we might have a shot while standing together. As of now, we are divided. Lincoln said it best " A house divided cannot stand." So how long till we fall? 

The Struggle

 

The Struggle

Eighty percent don't care the other twenty percent are glad it's you. A true statement about how other people feel about your problems and struggles. Yet we all tend to vent and complain about our problems whether be on social media or to each other and it never solves anything. We tend to forget that failures, setbacks, loss, heartache, and pain all show our true colors and will build character if you allow it to. Everyone has their problems and not enough time and patience to help others deal with theirs while dealing with their own. So in short, it gets left on the individual to help themselves and use all their failures as lessons and fuel to the fire of getting up and getting better. I regress a little, there are plenty of podcasts, vlogs, blogs, articles, and books written and said of successful people who have had similar problems and worse and have found a way to overcome them. If your willing to listen, read, and take the advice from individuals who have been able to overcome similar struggles, then you yourself can do the same. Complaining and wanting sympathy and pity solves nothing and only makes you look weak. Only recognizing who you are, what you've been through, your weaknesses and strengths, and having the determination to better yourself will get you to a better place. Learn to appreciate the struggle and the lessons it brings to you. Definitely keeps life interesting.