The blurred line of sex and relationships. There are times when the only reason people are together is because of sex and have no other commonalities. It was just based on great orgasms from the start and maybe a fear of being alone and both settled. The other side of the equation is that two people get along very well, have a lot in common, and are on similar paths but the sexual chemistry isn't there or has been lost over time. Have we stopped to ask ourselves why? Is it because people grow at different rates? Change at different times in their life, want something different, or become complacent? We are sexual beings whether we want to admit it or not and we all change over time and at different rates and levels. I believe that is why marriage is so difficult to maintain, along with relationships. We are always changing or at least should be growing and maturing with age and seeking new goals and levels. In our twenties and all the way back to our childhood, we are young and foolish and want what we see from our relatives and peers around us and what we see in the media as love. We all think we should be married, have kids, a nice house, a great job. Then our thirties come and we realize that we want something different out of life. More passion, adventure, goals wisdom, knowledge, and taking risks that should have been taken earlier in life. By then we are already in debt, have kids and your partner is growing at a different rate and in a different direction than you, or becoming more successful at their career than you and it creates turmoil. A lot of factors add to relationships and can cause greed, jealousy, envy because of success and growth. I believe we are at the turning point of what was considered traditional relationships and marriage. We have more understanding now of how the human mind works and how we grow, how we react to each other, and what we can become. There is also the aspect of mental illness, we'll get to that at a later date. We are essentially primates and no primate is monogamous. Now we come to the marriage aspect of human nature. There is a reason why men fear marriage, other than the fact if that's the only person he gets to have sex with while in that marriage. The man fears losing what he has worked so hard to obtain. Ladies, before you start your hate mail, let me finish. The system we have with marriage and divorce is set up in your favor. You get the alimony, half of everything, and child support if you have kids (I'll save the income equality for another time). Not completely your fault though, the lawyers step in and want their cut and start putting it into your head that you deserve more and telling you he is trying to screw you over. Then the battle begins and the lawyers start making money, and the man typically ends up covering both those bills as well. That is the other reason why men fear marriage, they fear losing everything. Both sides need to remember that your partner will change and grow over time. And you may grow apart and in different directions. It's a simple fact of human nature, it will happen. Don't get me wrong, you can work it out, come to common ground and keep going if you are willing to work at it. For the most part how we are designed in today's society. We always look for the easy way out or the way to obtain the most money. Or just desire the excitement of starting over or being with someone new, which is just as exciting. Whatever the case may be, it's all on the individuals in the relationship. Knowing what they want, where they are going, and whether or not they want to stay together and work it out. Or go their separate ways peacefully. To put it more simply, communication and we all lack that in today's society. We always throw this idea of love into the mix as well. We all think that it is eternal, which in some cases it may be. But in reality, the true concept of love is not being selfish. It's saying I care about your happiness as much as my own and if you're happier without me, be adults about it and allow each other to move on and be happy. Therein lies being civil about it, talking it through and not being selfish and greedy, and taking every last dime before they go. In other words, just be selfless in each other's happiness.
